I rediscovered reading. I don’t have time to pick up a book, and that is really annoying, because I love reading. I build a view of a place from a book, or two, or more. Each adds a new twist to place I haven’t seen before. In my travels, when getting to one of the places I “know” from the books, I try to discover the details that stuck with me and created that vivid image.
Too much imagination and a lot of free time, my dad would say. And he would be completely wrong. On both. I don’t have any time, never have, that I could use to imagine things… I dream things while doing my chores, when I want to block my boss’s rantings, when I need to climb the pile of “stuff” that someone put in my way..but no real time to imagine. No imagination, either. I am quite creative with a purpose, very resourceful when threatened, but completely bland when it comes to sprouting a fresh new idea without any roots…
I read through posts for the last few days, mainly to kill time. It’s so nice and cozy in the house. And, until today, it was so dreadful outside, that, even if I wanted to, I still couldn’t get myself out of the house for longer than a couple of hours… Other’s thoughts can be entertaining. Fun, similar, different. Just enough to make boring look cozy for another day. Today, with the sun sparkling everywhere, they seemed off. Very similar. Addressing the same things. Me. Not me, but their own me. Self.
It got me thinking, which is never a good thing, because monsters are born out of my analysis most of the time. But someone had to assume the risk, so, if my house gets egged, that’s why. I started thinking about self-preservation. In its real definition. It comes awfully close to selfishness. By today’s rules, it is mostly defined as the act of thinking about oneself. A lot. In every situation. I’m not advocating pros or cons to this fact. But it sure got me all riled up inside. I see a lot of self-preservation around me. By the new definition. Does that mean that the world is turning into a sea of selfishness? Is self-centeredness the new black? Or is it the norm? Is it just a perspective on things? Is there something I’m missing? Must be. But all this wondering about my own thoughts…am I turning into a self-preserved person? Was I one before and I’m just now realizing it? Ah, growing pains…and questions…
I guess it’s my questions day…
Questions are oh so necessary in life.