The night went by too fast. The wind stopped for a little while, but the people’s minds haven’t yet stopped whirling, so the words that slap you in the face left and right are not directed at you. They are merely residue of unresolved frustrations that were caught in the whirl, and are now carried away by the gusts, hitting whatever they encounter. I will stick with this story. I chose to start my week listening to those words I keep reading everywhere. Not put together by me, but brought to me by chance…and as all in life is not coincidental, I will pay attention…or at least I’ll try.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not quite quiet. At all. I am the exact opposite of quiet. I am one of those people that was born with too many words on the brain, and, try as I might, I can’t dish them all out…not that I am not trying…I do have a inclination towards loud things; loud minds too. The only problem with those is that I haven’t exactly mastered the art of reading them. I understand words. I know…I’m limited…to words. They just make sense to me. They give me a good understanding of what one wants to express. I tried to interpret silence, but I am so far off from the truth, that most of the times, the only thing I manage to do with that is get myself in trouble, or bring myself down.
I spent a few hours at work today debating what quote defines whom. In common agreement, I was awarded this one. I will treasure it. It is true, reflects me, I am a walking picture of it, and it sure is exciting! A great thing to be…exciting!.. But it also brings some things that I haven’t noticed before: a spent heart, spectators, envy, exhaustion, a little sadness, and lonesomeness. There is an almost extinct number of passionates still left in the world, and it grows smaller by the minute. Fear kills most of them, and what fear doesn’t, logic does. Which is an interesting thing, because my logic has actually amplified my flame, and gave so many outlets that helped other cope with my meanderings through a tumultuous sea of feelings. But as I promised myself I will sample these words put together by others, I will try to:
I chose to stay myself. To be “just me”. As crazy as it may sound, I like being me…As crazy as I may sound…and as exalted…it’s fun being up in my clouds. And fun is one thing everyone should have more of…or at least I should keep having…I hope the wind stops tomorrow, because it is blowing off my feathers, and the sting of the cold burns my heart. If not, I’ll cling to silence for a little while longer, and hope for the best. Or just enjoy the nothing…