one in a million

A conversation on the shuttle last week was most entertaining and worth sharing. It wasn’t uttered by me and I do not agree, nor disagree. Yes, I’m playing mediator here, with a little dose of personal interference. I hadn’t thought of things that way I guess, and the take was fresh, unexpected, and hilarious given the context.

The shuttle was still not moving after about 20 min, and I was getting quite antsy. If you read me before, you’ll know why, if you haven’t, it’s because I have little to no patience. Documented! I have people offering to buy me some most every week. So, you see, stuck in a seat on a shuttle that wouldn’t move, when I had yet another deadline, was just wrong! I asked the driver if he could go already, but my question must not have been sweetly posed…I got a very stern “I have a schedule to follow!”…oh, don’t mind the customer here, bud!..you keep to you delayed schedule, by all means! I stopped my words before coming out, or it would have been an even longer wait…when life gives you rocks, watch out not to crack your teeth…so I reached into my pocket and found some munchables…

The lady behind me noticed my anxiety and tried to convince the man to go, but he wouldn’t budge. Her phone rang and she soon began a series of interjections with the other person on the phone, that completely saved me from pursuing the matter further…and also saved my feet a walk, I guess. ” Oh, I miss you, too! What?! Who did?! Why did you….I can’t believe you!…No, I don’t want to see you! And I don’t want to hear that, either!…See, this is what you always do! Always! And you didn’t even tell me you love me today!…I hate you!…did you feed the dog?..I know he is, that’s why you have the scoop and the mop!…You do?…I miss you, too!”.

The whole conversation lasted most of my trip. At some point I looked at the man sitting across, amazed by the sudden twists in the plot…he shrugged and smirked. “Women” he said. “They should teach boys PMS surviving skills instead health education in junior high, that’s more important for any man’s sanity!”. I don’t think my expression was too convinced, because he kept nodding “They really should! I mean, think about it, it’s every month! It’s like we speak another language! And there is no logic, or reasoning, or even a certain way to deal with it, ’cause it’s so unpredictable…you just have to watch out and roll with the punches! Wait! Maybe it should be PE, not health!”.

The first thought that came to mind was not very nice. The second followed the first. The bus stopped and it was time for me to get off. What a save! The woman had finished her phone call as well and was getting off the buss, too. I couldn’t tell if she heard him or not. As she was stepping down from the last step, she turned to the man on the bus “Idiot! Just ’cause you can’t handle it, doesn’t mean there aren’t real men out there! And if you think you could do it better, try walking in these shoes first!”.

I didn’t want to get caught in the cross fire, so I upped the pace and got out. I could hear chuckles behind me. I glanced back and the man’s face was bright red and a big purple vein was bulging on his temple…Ha! That’ll teach ya’…Of course I felt sorry for him almost immediately, but life gives you lessons when you need them, not when you think you’re ready for them.

The thought did perk though…PMS…did it become an excuse?… on both sides… Or maybe is overrated already…Does this come from ovary? No? Ok, maybe not. But if people are one in a million, unique,  singular individuals, then how can they fit in the same description? Is there a need to recreate our identity in order to change perceptions? Or is this one of those age old issues that will stick around for another millennia?

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