I keep time still, what’s your super power?

The words of children carry the most truth, and the heaviest loads.. Lucky for them they start understanding the later when they are out of their early years, some sooner than others… but they are saved from having their immaculate world shattered by bias.

A little game of super heroes left me wondering today. Yes, I played too. How else? It wouldn’t be fun to just watch. And, yes, I skipped rope a little after school… only a little, though, it’s so hard to do it anymore, especially in high heels… So the question traveled the room, splashing us all with a little laughter at our own secret desires. “What is your super power?” As the adult, I wanted to add a little teaching to the moment, so at my turn, I declared loud and clear “I keep time still”.  There was no quiet before the storm. Just the storm. Of words. No laughter like I was prepared for…uhm, did they really “get it?” A boy raised his hand and waved it around a few times to get the floor. “Soo, how exactly do you do this?” he asked. I pointed to my camera. A wave of vowels flooded the room, and then the laughter danced around their faces… I smiled. It’s good to still be able to make them laugh.

But in the quiet of my office, just minutes later, a still world was staring at me from the graphics and photos on my walls. I could feel one set of eyes following me around the room, as I was trying to grasp my super power… and as my gaze met those yes, the world suddenly came to life, and I was transported in time, breathing the whispers… I guess my kryptonite is in those eyes…it makes the world move again, except at a different speed, and backwards, and staying away from locking gazes could keep me safe. But for now, trapped in the parallel universe, I let my heart flutter, and listened to the ocean. Again.

Just stranded

Often times, in our mind, we create scenarios and intricate plots to help us get through situations, past the boredom, or simply because creativity is at its peak, and it spits out of our being through every pore… These manifestations are phenomenal for the development of the mature brain. They offer us the possibility to intensely experience feelings that otherwise would be repressed for fear of being inadequate, off the norms, or just not possible in a given situation. Our imagination then becomes the matrix that allows for these experiments to play with different versions of ourselves, in a private way, without the danger of being revealed as malefic, soft, soggy, exalted, or flat.

These exercises prepare our lucid brain for future events, by giving us a faster response time to stressors, in a more contained way… preparation is king, they say… and what better way to be prepared for anything life brings you than by simulating real life events, and by living the scenarios in the privacy of your own brain? Not to mention that you can pick the most wonderful outcome, but, of course, envision the worse as well, and devise response strategies.

The fun part about playing with your imagination is that it opens up a world you have never dared to step foot in before. You can be brave, or scared, or simply observe. There are no rules, other than the ones you impose on yourself, based on the plot you are knitting, and the societal standards, if they must be taken into consideration. But no judging eye, and no irreparable repercussions come out of this brain surge. So the ending can be of your choice, or the one that seems more plausible at the end of the quest.

But the funny thing about this whole playtime is that it doesn’t really stop with your lucid mind! Your brain, yours only by location, decides to take you into other worlds, unknown and unimagined by you before. It twists your plots, and changes you strategies, and throws in the most unfamiliar variables, taking away your control, making you a mere puppet of your own reason, enabling the true random selection that life really deploys at the beginning of each path. You become the prisoner of your own mind, with no say in where the story goes, exposed to vivid factors you have never imagined, sometimes that don’t even make sense in the context of real life, and living the most powerful feelings with the utmost true intensity, sometimes resulting in death… in your dreams, of course! Just stranded…

What a great gift, a brain! Used right, it can entertain, make inquiries, take the right decisions, or the wrong ones, and let you live whatever kind of life you dream of, both in the daylight, and at night. The playing doesn’t stop just because you decide you’ve had your fun. You continue to be educated, in the same “safe” mode, in your dreams, about the infinite answers to the tiny question that you dared pose… It’s your brain! You should be able to shut it down, shouldn’t you? You own it!.. Or does it own you? The matrix is a really useful teaching tool, and learning to find your way through it may be the most powerful skill yet! In a world where people live in their heads, and only come out to share the conclusion of their imagination, sometimes with a gun, shouldn’t we teach our children that it’s all in our heads?

Stuff the stars are made of

An upcoming presentation got me thinking about my previous yapping about stuff I find fun and productive… Just like any other human being, getting through to others, with a clear and easy to follow message, is important for me, and a lot of time goes into the approach, almost as much as into the presentation content. It’s important for my self esteem, I guess…But it also makes me feel like I left those people, who come to spend that time with me, despite their busy schedules or daily troubles, with something that will help them make their own life easier, grow them, or simply get them thinking. So, in the end it all comes down to what I passed on…

To reach a group, as any teacher will tell you, you have to know the basics. What types of people you have in your group. The best way to speak to anyone, with a good chance for them to understand you, is in their language. Of course, you can try talking with pictures and your hands, but I’m not sure there’s research behind this technique, though…But identifying the types of audience one expects, is the first thing to do. And this is what got me thinking…yes, again.

Take the stars, for example. Myriads of little twinkles with the naked eye, turn into the most amazingly different planets, with a life of their own, and with surviving mechanisms that blow your mind… To follow that example, take the star as we know it. A plain cookie cutter style. Looking at the crowd in the sub station will feel the same as looking at a stack of these darlings… Two legs and two arms, one head with two eyes and a mouth. You know, the basics. If you’ve been in one of these stations, you know there’s no real time to see detail.

But once you board the subway, hanging by one hand like a baboon, cramped between other bodies, you get various reasons to look around with more interest. Like the scent of body heat in the summer, oozing from under the arm hanging right on top of your head. As you look at the particular star, you see the stuff it’s made of… no, not the hairy stuff, but the fire inside, the hot mess that defines them, the flamboyance of youth, the righteousness of the truth they think they possess, the credulity, the sparks, the firm belief that they will rule the world….what is more beautiful that a colorful, explosive Mars? So what if you can’t stand near it…it is amazing to look at and explore!

A bump on your, already squished, side makes you turn your head again to see what’s going on. And another star unravels…in the elusive mass, covered in soft colors, you start noticing a so familiar shape…there’s a little star, right in the middle, camouflaged, not wanting to reveal itself to any common eye, but ready to shine its best light for the trained and willful one. A little song comes to mind…”that little light of mine..” and your heart warms up…what sweeter feeling can one have?

The train halts, sending the bodies forward and backward, on top of each other. Your eyes fall on the person to your right. You didn’t see him before the jerk; your arm, holding the top rail, was in the way. What an amazing creature. So many lines on his face! Such deep eyes, so much sadness in them…You whisper an apology to him, like in a trance, and a nodding smile lights up his face: “no worries”…and just like that, the intricate patterns of this star make you want to know more, where has it been, what does it know, how does it still keep its amazing design so rich? Your memory goes back to fourth grade, that field trip to that gallery, that painting that marked you for life…and your brain floods you with your own personal “best hits”…what can be more  revering than a star that can give you back your youth?

Your station is fast approaching and you make your way to the door, squeezing through the mass…you look towards the coming station, and your eyes meet a glowing pair. Your gazes are stuck together for a fraction of second, like two electric beams feeding off each other…then, to wake you up from the dream, the train stops abruptly, sending you straight into the door with a thud! It was just a blink, and you could not even describe the person whose eyes you locked gaze with…but the spark they gave to your imagination, daring you to dream of supernatural powers, fairy tales, and lost worlds…unspeakable…what can be more empowering than a star that dares you to dream?

The doors open and you are carried out by the sea of travelers. This short experience has given you such appetite to learn more… you look around at the crowd. They all move just as fast, together, shoulder to shoulder, like an ant troop…but being in their midst, in the corner of your eye, you can catch the quick differences that set each individual appart. Some are stripped with bold colors, some are just fuzzy all around, some are half covered in soft and sweet delights, and some are primed, just ready to receive more and more spices from life…

And it makes you think about the stuff the stars are really made of…it’s sweet, and crunchy, and sometimes spiky, and it sometimes breaks your teeth if you’re not careful and bite into one of the artificial decorations meant to impress the novice, but most of all, the base is so much the same…soft and crumbly…so be careful how you hold them…they break so easily…

I want your children!…

Recruiting can be a tough task if one has to find effective ways to attract the “right” kind of populations into their program. It has been highly debated, in and out of office, for a good year now…turns out that, on an island, there isn’t much choice, so birds of a feather tend to stick together.

Today constitutes a breakthrough in conquering the hearts of the desired one, and in convincing them to join the other side, as a master plan has been devised…A bare breasted, well, metaphorically speaking,  statue of dedication – that being my dear colleague – would ride the open recruiting truck, which abruptly turned into the “disco bus”, as it was a better and more attractive choice. Crabs would swarm around her in the disco bus/truck and the pet pig would join the ride…

How ashamed am I at this late hour, for denying any association with such a complex recruiting stratagem…not wanting my name in such glorious and picturesque endeavor… it was only because the cry of war was going to be “I want your children”, and as I am hitched and quite the public person, that could be easily misinterpreted…and that is not an option, I’m afraid…ya’ know, it’s all in a name as they say…Otherwise, I would have gladly bared my soul in the druggie alley, crabs and all…

No, I chose the simple, beaten path of newspaper articling… good piece as they all told me, and the picture, though modest and shy, highly appreciated…didn’t help the low profile either, but at least I won’t have to fend accusations of alleged parenthood that could arise with the master plan…

I’ll let you know how it all turns out…maybe shoot a few pictures, too! It should be interesting…if the plans lives to see tomorrow, that is!

The code

I recently started looking into a QR code generator that my teachers could use. This summer I took 20 people to ISTE in Philadelphia, and they were amazed by all the way that one can use technology to make life interesting. And at how easy it can be!

On our way back, on the plane, I was exhausted, so I curled up in my seat and stuck my head in the corner of the window, and dozed off. I remember tuning out the joyful sound of their voices sharing their impressions, and the quirky giggles and all sorts of game noises, as they were playing on their iPads…

A sudden jerk and some loud, fast and excited talking pulled me from my sleep ! I was numbed and disoriented and my heart was racing 100m/h…we’re crashing! My child! I reached for the phone as my chair kept being jerked and words were bouncing off of my head…where am I…no signal! Guess not…on a plane?! I started looking around to assess the situation.. the guy next to me was drooling in his sleep, and the lady next to him was laughing wholeheartedly at some movie they were playing on her screen…I couldn’t understand…then a face popped right in front of me “hey! you’re sleeping? I’m too hyper to sleep. I wanted to ask you, how do you do those QR codes? I want to do that with my kids the first day of school. I want them to take their phones out and read all the codes. It will be so fun! Don’t you think? But you need to show me how to do those things!”. I don’t know that I had a reply, as the owner of the utterings disappeared shortly from sight.

I was still in shock, but slightly coming out… my mom was on a plane on 9/11. THE 9/11. We knew nothing of her for three days. She wasn’t on that flight, not even near the area, but communication was cut those days.. she too sleeps on the plane. All the time. Maybe my brain connected the two events, or maybe, deep down in my subconscious, there is a stand-by alert that gets triggered at the slightest association with danger…Or maybe one never forgets things that are shattering one’s world…even for three days…

But the fact of the matter is that I have looked up a tone of QR code generators. And they are fun. And the kids love them. And you can customize them, send to phones, emails, put them on shirts – which is what I do – and let others make the discovery of a math formula or a Social Studies interesting and useful fact, or simply say hello to the world! But, as much as I try, I can’t see the urgency of finding them that day, on that plane…

To all of you remembering today, have a strong week! Make it amazing! And always remember!

none shall take ‘em!

You know how sometimes you have a bad dream where you’re trying to run and your feet won’t budge? Or you’re trying to scream, terrified by whatever anguish happens to be available in your brain at the moment, and sounds don’t come out? I must have a very good reason to revolve my conversations around these reverie manifestations, as it seems that whatever I do, something impossible, and so rare to others, will happen to me…

Something like calling the after-school program to check if the child made it there safely the first day of school and the answer being: “not here, maybe on the bus”…!?!…what bus? what are you talking about? what do you mean not there? who are you? is this a wrong number?

It turns out I am a very polite type of person; no demeaning or vulgar uttering came out of my mouth during the conversation or after. I did not stutter, nor did I yell. Hanging up, thousands of thoughts raced through my head at once – what if my worst nightmare is coming true? And that annoying nightmare occurrence took over…couldn’t move…couldn’t scream…could see myself speaking gently to others…and smiling…who took the child? that was playing in the back of my brain, like a broken record…why? who told them to? who decided it? by whose authority?…

The call came eventually, not soon enough! Found the child – got put on the bus. Won’t happen tomorrow, thought…Ya’ think?!!! Oh I’m sure it won’t, because parents have the right to be lions, and if they roar their wish and ruffle their mane, their will be done…so no children will be lost again! And none shall take ‘em, but their pride!

Ready or not….

Tomorrow is one of those days when the sun will shine a white light that will dim out anything unimportant, and will bring up that one particular item on your plate that has been staring you in the face… whether you’re ready or not! Tomorrow the benches in the park will be bare and blue and the echoes of summer laughter will bounce off every empty corner. Tomorrow, the day will start much earlier than it should, and will go on way past the time it should have ended…I guess it could easily be called the longest day!

Tomorrow a bunch of little feet (and not so little ones, too) will trample all over the newly waxed floors of their school, marking their passage with streaks from a thousand new sneakers… Tomorrow, for about an hour, the beehives will look frivolous, and the fear will be as tangible as the school walls. Voices will cover each other and tears will roll down wrinkled and young faces…the chaos will rule! For about an hour…

Then silence will take its place and the walls will dissolve,  the cries will subside, and the curiosity will take the place of anxiety in the little hearts. Wrinkled hearts will be heard throughout the day, thumping loud, fast and scared. What if?… The minutes will crawl, the outer sounds will be muffled….the eyes will watch the clock.

For those of you who don’t take a child to school tomorrow, if you see your colleagues acting like this, forgive their passing mood. Those of you who have been there, or who will be there for the first time tomorrow, remember to breathe! They will be fine. And so will you.

Have a great first day of school! And a fabulous year!

Soul chasing!

I have been cooped up in a very beautiful, newly restored, southern plantation ball room with my whole team for the past few days. It’s awesome, you’ll say! Yeah, the room… The other part not so much! C’mon! Every day… For eight hours…Hearing all the stories…. The ones you want, and the ones you want to never hear about, ever again. Tell ya’ what: next time they say training….run! It might just be the day you were chosen to do the soul chasing. And, boy, is that a tough hunt!

This was a very well intended and otherwise quite successful, if applied at the right time, set of seminars on human relations and reaching others. Problem was there were too many souls in that room, just bursting with chasing desires, and too little time…! It was loud! And teary! And tumultuous! I think they call it the “Lifetime Television” moment, right? It was a moment all-right! A lot of moments…

A gal came to tell us how we should talk with kids. She thought she knew all about it, and was eager to share. So were my colleagues unfortunately! So, what do you get when you pack a room with 50 people who want to be right? Many descriptions come to mind, but just to share a few: a riot, a funeral, a madhouse, a circus, a battle field. I did learned about all the families and pain of that crowd. And it was crushing, and hard, and powerful! And it brought me closer to all of them. The first day.

But. By lunch, the second day, I was furious. Third day, 9:00 am, more were furious. It fell on me to be the strong one. Why? I didn’t ask for mass transgression! I didn’t even ask for soul searching! I did ask for a little sanity and a lot of time to train my people for what is coming next week!

I guess I’m lucky. I didn’t find anything, but I’m lucky. At least I didn’t take home all the pain the others shed. I did put a lot in all my pockets, you can’t help what you’re feeling! And you can’t stop your heart from breaking…I didn’t find out things about myself that I didn’t know. But, then again, I’ve been doing this searching for a long time now, there are no corners left unturned, and though there are new folds each day, the landscaping is still the same. Not many surprises there! But looking at the others, just opening their eyes to their inner world…woah! where have they been? most of those people can be my parents!

I guess this whole soul searching thing is like exercise, better to do a little bit and often than a lot at one time…that will take out all you got, leave you tired, stressed and yield no results in the long run. So why did anyone think three days of this is so great, now, right before the teachers get ready to meet their kids for the first time this year? They didn’t even have time to get their rooms ready! And now they’re drained, physically and emotionally! I bet you someone thought we have supermen on staff! And, of course, that time is something obsolete, that nobody uses anymore!

To all of you teaching out there: be blessed! may your cup runneth over with joy, greatness and contentment. But most of all, may you keep your sanity for your family too! Have a safe year!

It’s time…

I rode the bus yesterday. The school bus. Not by myself, but with the other “kids”. We were taken to another site to sit in the school year opening ceremony. I sat on the bench with a mix of respect and fear… Odd feeling…

It brought back old and dear memories from my very first day of school… I could smell the lilac in the air.. I heard my footsteps on the sidewalk, and my mom’s voice telling me things, which I can’t really recall; her voice was reassuring, caring and nervous at the same time… I remember passing by a lilac bush and grabbing a leaf. It smelled sweet, green, and warm, like the sun that it had been trapping inside it throughout the summer… I put it in my brand new uniform pocket and it made me feel safe, like an oasis of calm. The school yard was swarming with kids and parents, and flowers were intoxicating the air…They called my name and I felt myself let go of mom’s hand and following the sound of the voice who had called my name up on the stairs. The hallway was just as crowded and the voice had left me. I was alone in a sea of moving, loud, rushed bodies and felt scared all of the sudden, what if I got lost?!

I saw a hand reach out to me and I took it. “Do you remember your class letter?” I couldn’t see the face, but the voice was kind and calm. “A”. “I’ll take you there.” the voice said. I felt pulled through the mass of people and in an instant there was light and air to breathe. I filled my lungs anxiously…I was in front of a class, also full. My teacher came to me and asked me my name. She took me to my seat…. that’s all I can remember. I never knew who the voice was, but throughout my life I heard it from others many times when I was in need.

I believe it’s now called the “good samaritan syndrome” this impulse to help others. Like it’s some kind of twitch, not a voluntary action…Why would anyone make a good thing into a disease, I’ll never know… but learning from example, and oh, so many times, too, I proudly declare myself contagious of this impairment. I’ll pass it onto you if you want. All you have to do is come close.

The crowd was wild yesterday, and you could feel they were ready to be out of there. But they were entertained, happy to see each other, ready for a new beginning. Until the speech about the future cuts came… Lucky for all of us, teachers are still interested in sharing their knowledge, and in the midst of the event the news didn’t really kick in… It is a new page. Maybe this story will have a happy ending! I know I’ll use my syndrome a lot this year, to be close to as many as I can!

Crude oil, baby!…

I celebrated success today! My work from the past six months paid off, and I lived to see and share my dream. This must be what a parent feels at their child’s graduation: immense pride, lots of relief, and a little sadness.

I started back in January with something that all around me called impossible. Was it the fact that they had no faith I can do it, or maybe merely to prove them wrong? I don’t know, but I fought each battle, every day, with one simple thing in mind: my kids will be happy when all this is done! And so they are! And the grow-ups for that matter! Today, at the ribbon cutting ceremony, a class full of officials from all areas of my district, businessmen, community leaders, and board members played together happily with the fruit of my work. And had a blast. Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Seeing people of all ages enjoy the comfort of a Mac, learning about software they will most likely never touch, and coaching each other, was more rewarding that all the congratulations that I received in my whole life!

And the best compliment of all came from the most unexpected person, with a wording that amused me, flattered me and made think of back in the day….when our name was our reputation. I was called crude oil…insinuating and seeping through everything quietly, constantly … and unstoppable! I’m still laughing, but, boy, was this a good comparison!

Things to learn from my experience: it may take longer than you expect, it may be tougher than you thought, it may be more annoying than you ever imagined…but at the end of the road there is light. Bright and clear as a spring day, warming your heart and healing all the battle wounds. It’s worth it!