trust
Friend or foe… maybe there is a gray area there too… but when it comes to trust, one thing is certain for me; the only one person who can be trusted with everything… well they haven’t been born yet. For anyone. Mainly because we’re all human. If I can’t trust myself sometimes, should I ever expect others to not betray my trust? I could, but that would be highly irrational, or simply stupid, and though I can be known as demonstrating both, most of the time I have some common sense…
Trust is a dangerous thing, creates dependencies, illusions, and expectations. None of which are desirable, real, or beneficial. Trust is better left to self. When it can be done. Which should be more often than not. Unless it’s more not…
Rule # 1
Once upon a time I had a set of rules. They were meant to shelter me from disappointment and keep me safe. But just like all else, in the cozy embrace, life felt safe and true…and I forgot the rules.. and I forgot why I needed them… And then life splashed its frozen, angry waves and pulled me under… and I remembered. So back to the rules it is. Once is one too many..
In the rain.
The rain has a funny way of numbing the soul, and letting the excess water out… But it has the quiet and monotonous rhythms that soothe and give one a feeling of suspended reality, when decisions are not required, and life gets paused.
This is the year that will be handled in pictures… my many words have vanished. Left. Maybe I’ve said too much over the past two years. And painting a picture doesn’t require communication. Just quiet. The feelings are there… they never really left… but here’s to a year where words are banned. A picture’s worth a thousand words anyway… And I’ll start with the root of the problem…
I’ll keep it all bottled up, in see-through jars, so light can shine on my thoughts…
And find solitude… in the crowd
And go back to my jetty to meet my memories once in a while… and let it rain…
I keep time still, what’s your super power?
The words of children carry the most truth, and the heaviest loads.. Lucky for them they start understanding the later when they are out of their early years, some sooner than others… but they are saved from having their immaculate world shattered by bias.
A little game of super heroes left me wondering today. Yes, I played too. How else? It wouldn’t be fun to just watch. And, yes, I skipped rope a little after school… only a little, though, it’s so hard to do it anymore, especially in high heels… So the question traveled the room, splashing us all with a little laughter at our own secret desires. “What is your super power?” As the adult, I wanted to add a little teaching to the moment, so at my turn, I declared loud and clear “I keep time still”. There was no quiet before the storm. Just the storm. Of words. No laughter like I was prepared for…uhm, did they really “get it?” A boy raised his hand and waved it around a few times to get the floor. “Soo, how exactly do you do this?” he asked. I pointed to my camera. A wave of vowels flooded the room, and then the laughter danced around their faces… I smiled. It’s good to still be able to make them laugh.
But in the quiet of my office, just minutes later, a still world was staring at me from the graphics and photos on my walls. I could feel one set of eyes following me around the room, as I was trying to grasp my super power… and as my gaze met those yes, the world suddenly came to life, and I was transported in time, breathing the whispers… I guess my kryptonite is in those eyes…it makes the world move again, except at a different speed, and backwards, and staying away from locking gazes could keep me safe. But for now, trapped in the parallel universe, I let my heart flutter, and listened to the ocean. Again.
Peekaboo
Yesterday I took 20 kids to an aquarium. I don’t have so many of my own. As a matter of fact I only have one, and even that one, by sheer luck! Or by divine intervention, as you may choose to see it. To me, it was the greatest gift! But that doesn’t stop me from appreciating other people’s gifts just as much as mine. I adopt. Easily. Not with papers, just with words and feelings. I seem to have plenty of both, and they need plenty of those, so, here you go! Best use for my super powers!
I took 2o kids to see penguins. They will create a video documentary that will play at the aquarium for the season. This is the first of, hopefully, many to come. But as we headed back, I looked at 20 kids who got more than just words, a field trip and lots of feelings. I saw them turning into giants! Soft, gentle, childish, powerful giants. And they were whole. And I felt complete.
There was a special penguin that helped build those spirits. Her name is Peekaboo. She looked helpless, staying close to her “mom”, one of the caretakers. She “seemed” helpless. She darted boldly toward one of my kids when she thought he was a threat to her brood… very similar to my kids, standing around me, tall, strong, and ready… and yet, so small, quiet, and fluttering with uncertainty. Real peekaboos… now you see them, now you don’t… but you just know in your heart of hearts that their strength is there… the humanity in the making! And, so, life makes sense again, and hope starts growing, shyly, tentative, and reaching for the warmth of the good news…
books make you unstupid… and creative…
I read this somewhere this morning and it made so much sense! Yes, don’t they? In a day and age when people are proud of their mobile devices and the fact that they don’t have to carry the load of a hardcover, it makes one wonder if there is any resilience in actually completing a reading on such a “mobile” and distracting means…
To that is added the type of lecture that is left on a hardcover… the ones that really sell anymore… you know, the highly interesting, the shock factor book, the tabu… the “Fifty shades of grey” kind of books. Great to captivate attention, and give one a rush of adrenaline. And then, what? I guess the times of reading and imagining unseen worlds and times has passed. People look to the future. It’s there that lies the hunger for knowledge… what will happen then… but an old saying keeps coming to mind from time to time, more often lately, and it makes me think that the past might be as valuable as the future… “those who don’t learn from history, are bound to repeat it”. Stereotype. I’ve been told. Retrograde. Unfuturistic. Stuck-up.
But reading Balzac in original at 12 gave me wings to fly over past times, into fantastic or maybe real events, take part in historical moments… imagine. Books do make one unstupid. Might not be the best word, but it sure describes the process in short…
Curiosity is the mother of all learning, they say. But there is no curiosity without creativity. And no creativity without exposure. And no exposure without visibility. Someone recently blogged this sentence “will the books disappear in favor of the ebooks?” Is that really the point? Or should the question have been shorter “will the books disappear?”… I hope they won’t. But one flower doesn’t summon Spring… so maybe more voices have to rise to the heavens and carry the reasons with them to the Gods. Maybe then our children will be spared the threat of never knowing what happened in a different country, in a different time, and maybe history will re-take its place in our minds, and remind us of paths already traveled that are good, or bad for that matter…. and maybe they will not make the mistakes we foolishly make, for they will remember the lessons of time.
